Five years ago, I received an inbox message on my personal Facebook page from a desperate young woman in Georgia, who was in a crisis. I'll call her "Laura". She was a single mother of two. She'd been raped. She was pregnant. She wanted an abortion. She reached out to me.
This young woman didn't personally know me; she knew about me after seeing me on television. Months before after first seeing me, she decided months to start following me on social media. They say you can tell a lot about a person through their social media posts, who they are, what they do and even what they believe in. I have to say I agree.
Just by following me, she not only found out things about my personal life, but professional life, as well. I've been working with pregnancy resource centers for over twenty years. Throughout my career, I've counseled thousands of young women, men, and families in crisis. I speak about this a lot through social media. I'm outspoken about things I believe in too. Some of my opinions are popular and well-received, others, not so much. For instance. Yes, I'm pro-life, but also pro-choice. No, I am not pro-death, but, pro-choice. There is a difference. On many occasions, I've proclaimed to be more pro-choice than those who stand for pro-choice causes. Let me explain.
I serve a God who gives each one of us free will. He doesn't force anything upon us. He's given us an incredible gift, the freedom of choice. I've never believed we have the right to force anyone to do anything they don't want to do. That's between the individual person and God, not me. We will all answer for our own actions. I will answer for mine, you will answer for yours. Geez, I'm doing my best to lead my own life, let alone try and run someone else's.
However, I do believe in education and information. I also believe it is wise to listen to the counsel of others who've walked where you are about to tread. Only a fool refuses to seek direction or advice from those who've already been where they are headed. There's no question "without knowledge, we will perish."
My point is I don't believe I have the right to make a woman's choice for her. That's hers and only hers to make. However, because of my own experience, I feel it's my obligation to share my story and how it negatively impacted my life. My desire is no woman makes an abortion decision out of ignorance but becomes well informed before making such a life altering decision. She needs to fully understand if she makes an abortion choice, she is literally ending the life of her unborn baby, not removing a blob of tissue.
When this young woman reached out to me, she was looking for help, answers, and support. I did my best to give her that, without judgment, condemnation, or threats of where she'd spend eternity. I've been in a crisis pregnancy. It's a terrifying place to be, especially when no one is listening to your fears. Being a post-abortive woman myself, I could sympathize and empathize with her position.
This young woman was desperately struggling with a decision of whether to abort her child or not. She didn't believe in or want an abortion but agonized about the thought of carrying the child of a rapist. I knew she didn't want to do it, but I also knew she needed help navigating her decision. It was clear to me this was a young woman who would forever regret choosing abortion, but it wasn't my job to convince her to do anything. I just needed to present the facts. Her child was not only a rapist’s child, but her own. Yet, she had to ultimately make the decision. I made sure I was accessible to her at any time to her questions honestly.
After many long conversations, I was thrilled and overwhelmed with emotion when she decided not to end her three-month pregnancy. A family member had stepped up and offered to adopt the baby. This was great news! Unfortunately, our celebration didn't last long.
Three years prior to hearing from Laura, I met one of my daughter Teryn's best friends at a family cook-out. I'll call her "Anna". She and her husband had one son and had always wanted to adopt. The first time Anna met me, she approached me and gave me a huge hug. She said, "Teryn told me about the work you do. I'm fascinated and want to hear more! My husband and I have always known we were going to adopt one day. By the way, God told me you're going to be the person who brings us our baby!" I was taken aback and quickly responded that I didn't have anything to do with adoptions, so she was mistaken. She said, "No, I'm not. You're the one. You're the one who's going to bring us our baby. You'll see."
For the next two years, every time I saw Anna and her husband, she approached me with the same determination. She was relentless! She must have told me, "You're going to bring us our baby! You'll see!" more than a dozen times. It was to the point I told my daughter, Teryn, "Please tell your friend to stop saying that. I don't handle adoptions and she's going to get her hopes up and I can't help her!" But she never stopped. I was starting to dread going to parties or cook-outs where I knew Anna would be! Don't hear what I'm not saying. She and her husband are wonderful people, my good friends and I love them dearly. I just couldn't stand the thought of not being able to help them and knew there was nothing I could do to "find" them a baby.
A few weeks after my last communication from Laura, I received notification she'd written again. For some reason, I knew in my gut it wasn't good news. It wasn't. My heart dropped. The family member who'd agreed to adopt her baby backed out. She was in a panic. She started talking abortion again. She was devastated, scared, and didn't know how she was going to raise another child on her own, especially one who'd been conceived in such a violent way. I kept reminding her it wasn't fair for this baby to pay for the sins of his father by losing his life to abortion. She agreed.
We worked through it again. She promised not to do anything and take more time to think about her decision. The next email I received from Laura was that another family member had offered to adopt the child. We were both relieved.
Yet, another month later, she received more bad news. The newest family member had backed out too. The good news was she'd decided. She wasn't going to have an abortion. Laura was now six months pregnant. Although she made the decision not to have an abortion, she hadn't changed her mind about raising this baby. So, she said, "I promise you I won't have an abortion, but I need you to help me find the right parents to raise this child. Do you know anyone? I trust you." I immediately thought of Anna. I told her there was a family I knew who may be interested and asked her to give me a few days to reach out to them. Laura felt relieved. This was a Friday afternoon.
By Friday evening, I was on the phone with Anna. I'd texted Anna and asked her to call me when she had a chance. Anna rarely has her phone on hand, so I didn't expect to hear from her, yet within five minutes, my phone was ringing. When I answered, she didn't say, "What's up?" or "How are you?'' She was screaming and crying into the phone, "You've got my baby! You've got my baby, don't you?! I KNOW you have my baby!" I was shocked. I did my best to calm her down, to no avail. She put me on speaker, as her husband had now joined the conversation.
I told them Laura's story. I told them everything. Afterwards, Anna's husband said, "You don't know this, Victoria, but my father's dad was a product of rape. I have no issue with how this baby boy was conceived." I was absolutely stunned. I went on to tell them the child would be bi-racial. Once again, I was speechless by Ann's matter-of-fact response, "Oh, of course, he is, Vic. We've always known our son would be of a mixed race."
They couldn't wait to speak with her. Then Anna said, "It's a boy, isn't it?" I knew Laura was carrying a son, she'd already told me weeks earlier, but I hadn't mentioned it to Anna or her husband. I said, "Yes, she's carrying a boy, but how did you know!?" This is basically verbatim what she told me.
She said, "I've been praying and fasting for three weeks. God knows my desire for another child. This past Tuesday was the last day of my fast. God spoke to my heart. He said, "Your son is on the way". I thought he was telling me I was pregnant, so I rushed out to take a pregnancy test. It was negative. I was devastated. Vic, this is my son. I know this is our son! I told you God was going to use you to bring us our son!" I had chills all over my body.
After I picked my mouth off the floor, I was crying. Through the phone, Anna, her husband, and I were all crying. We decided to set up a "Skype" meeting with Laura for that Sunday afternoon. Everyone clicked. They loved her, she loved them.
We decided to make a trip to Georgia, where Laura lived a few weeks later. It was a beautiful, surreal time together. This WAS Anna's son. Laura knew it. Anna knew it. I knew it.
Let me clarify something here. In my twenty-year career, I'd never facilitated an adoption. When someone walks into our center, they become a client. If they decide to seek an adoption plan, we immediately refer them to credible adoption agencies. But Laura wasn't a client. She'd never stepped foot into our center. She lived out of State and personally reached out to me on my personal social media account looking for help and advice from a woman she'd seen on television, whom she knew worked with women in crisis. She even told me I was the first person she thought of when she'd discovered she was pregnant. Since she came to me through my own personal social media account, the entire scenario was different. This was another "God" thing orchestrated by Him from the very beginning of this journey. Do you understand I could not have helped Laura find her adoptive parents had she walked into our clinic and became a client?! But she never had! God knew this and He worked out the particulars!
Anna and her husband moved to Georgia the last month of Laura's pregnancy. They didn't want to miss the birth of their son. Although they wanted me in the birthing room as well, my own daughter, Tawni, was due around the same time, so I couldn't go. But, thanks to FaceTime, I was able to be part of it.
A complication occurred during labor. Laura had to be rushed into surgery for a cesarean section. She literally almost died, as did her son. But, once again, God had other plans and both came through surgery and thrived! On May 14, 2017, (the same birthday as my youngest daughter, Kolby!), a beautiful baby boy, with a head full of black hair, entered the world and changed the lives of so many of us forever.
Baby "M" has been home in Nashville living with his Mommy, Daddy and big brother ever since. He’s four years old today.
Laura continues to do well and has never once regretted her decision to carry her son and place him up for adoption. She has told me many times this baby never belonged to her, but always to Anna. Through this experience, she's grown closer to God, as we all have, and life has made some amazing turns for her. She's in school now and her education has been completely paid for! She will be a part of my life forever. She and this baby boy hold a special place in my heart for always. She’s my hero.
As for Anna, she can't stop smiling. She loves to tell me, "I told you so." Now, our conversation has changed. When I see her at cookouts or parties, she says, "Vic, your husband is on the way and he's going to be AMAZING!" Who am I to argue with her?! LOL!
I'll never forget what Laura said to me recently. She said, "Victoria, God knew how and when this child would be conceived before I did, and He knew I would consider abortion. He was also aware, in another place far away from me, Anna was praying for her baby to adopt. Before this story even began, He led me to a show knowing I would fall in love with you and your family, which would then cause me to search you out on social media, as I was so drawn to you. God knew before I did how much I was going to need you in the coming days. And, because of these little details, all orchestrated by Him, this baby boy is with the family he was born to be with all along. I take comfort knowing I did the right thing and this child's purpose in life will be fulfilled. Do you realize all of this happened because I saw you on a TV Show?"
Wow. God will use anything to reach, help or guide us, won't He?! He'll use whatever it takes to get our attention to fulfill His Purpose.
Even an appearance on a television show.
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